When I found out I was expecting a baby, a part of me was very excited. The other part sadly, was seized with fear. Unsuccessfully battling to keep my blood sugar on a good level for the past three years, the conversation I had with the doctor that day made me feel like a failure! Earlier, I have shared a bit on my journey as a Type 2 diabetic and how my health was not getting better despite the aggressive treatment I was on. Now being pregnant became a bittersweet news after the first visit at my Endocrinologist. I left her office in tears, confused by all the different harmful scenarios that could happen. Her words sank so deep in my heart and almost robbed me from the joy of expecting my first child. It came to the point where every time I'd have a meal with "carbs", I would start panicking, fearing that it would endanger the baby. The first trimester was tough, not physically but more so emotionally... I needed to do something to undo 'these words' she declared over my pregnancy.
As a "good" Christian ever since the diabetes diagnosis, I have been on all kinds of crusades, prayed all kinds of prayers and did all kinds of fasting; seeking healing. Unfortunately, things worsened when I came to Canada. I then became frustrated and skeptical about healing. Discouraged, I thought maybe healing was not for me, even when the Bible says the contrary. This time, it was not only about me but my little one too. So during my pregnancy, I started to specifically read miracles stories in the Bible. One story I kept reading was Luke 5:12-15; a story where Jesus healed a leper. I love Jesus's answer when he said to him: "Yes, I want!''.
Yes, He wants me to experience healing. This scripture comforted my spirit during my pregnancy. To know that God has spoken healing over us, was a revelation I hang on to when times became harder. This verse is another proof that God does not send harm our way. Whatever dysfunction we may have inherited or developed, Jesus wants us to experience complete healing. ''So, why was I not experiencing it?'', I have begun to question myself. As my health and other areas in my life were not where I wanted them to be, my interest in Faith and Healing teachings grew. I started to read the Bible with magnifying glasses, especially Jesus's healing miracles. Every story, while different from one and another still had one thing in common: Faith. These people tried everything to be healed. From the impossible of touching Jesus in the middle of a big crowd to asking friends to carry them to Him. Although physically weak, their determination to be healed, prompted them to action; they were fierce. To the point where Jesus simply told them that their faith has healed them. Driven by this tangible faith, they started experiencing Healing at the sound of Jesus's voice.
Truly, for years I wanted God to heal me but did not find the strength to put together a plan to work on my A1c level. Every night, I began to declare the healing promises. Strengthened in my inner spirit, this process has helped me stay positive, refusing the negative scenarios I was told. While taking my medications, I knew I had to do my part and put some action to my faith. I started a 'low-carb' diet while being pregnant, craving all kinds of sweets and meals... Once I passed the first trimester, relief was on its way! I was doing very well at every appointment, my numbers were good. Suddenly, entering the second trimester, I started to feel a growing pain in my lower abdomen. New medications were added on top of the regimen I already had. I found out later that it was an issue I'd have to deal with for the rest of the pregnancy. Relationship issues added to my plate, through it all, I kept declaring the healing promises, doing my part of the bargain, taking care of myself as much as I could.
Today, my son is 19 months old, healthy and very active too (LOL). The other good news is, for the past year, all my appointments at the endocrinologist have been postponed. My blood exams showing significant improvement of the Ac1 level, I am no longer on pills. My insulin dosage has been reduced: I am experiencing healing!
Thirteen years went by, I have never felt as healthy as I am today. I am sharing my story because for very long, I thought healing was not for me...Now I understand that every relationship with Jesus is different and unique. He does not heal everyone the same way. Along with your faith, whether it is an instantaneous or a progressive healing, a partial or total recovery, even wisdom to go about certain treatments or choosing doctors... He will surely guide you. We are healed by His stripes! Do not let anybody or any thought, robe you from the joy of experiencing this blessing even if it doesn't fit with what society calls ''being healed''. For some of us, healing is a journey. A journey to a complete restoration; body, mind and soul. Take care of yourself and keep believing it!
photo credit : @springschurch